Iza★ (izasakumoto) wrote,
Iza★
izasakumoto

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Delay (English Version) — Chapter three.

I'm finally here with the third chapter! I started in a new job, and that's why I'm taking a little longer to share the chapters with you guys.
Anyway, I hope everybody enjoy it, this time, the story will be under Jun's point of view, so you'll decide if you will love or hate Sho before reading this.
Well, here's the chapter, comments will be loved! <3  
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Pairing: Sakumoto.
Genre: Angst.
Length: Chaptered.
Rating: NC-17.
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me... as much as I want.
Summary: Sho and Jun had a relationship with ups and downs, but then, Sho betrayes Jun and his whole world crashes down when Jun had a car accident. Six months later, Sho wants to be with Jun again, but, can that be possible?


By Jun
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I returned to the room with some difficulty, helped by the stupid crutches. I sat on the couch, taking a long sip of soda, while the boys were still absorbed watching the movie.
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“This is where the ghost is coming out. I can feel it...”  whispered Aiba, covering his ears.
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I smiled to see him, but the smile died on my lips as I watched Sho approaching us with a bowl full of popcorn in his hand. He set them down on the table and sat down beside me, totally silent. There was a loud crash, making Aiba scream, Nino clung to one of my legs and Ohno started to laugh. Sho, by my side, took a small leap and laughed too, but I knew he was terribly sorry for what I had told him minutes before.
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After the movie ended, the guys decided to leave; They helped me clean what we had messed up and they went away together. Sho simply mumbled a "good evening" before leaving the apartment, making me feel worse. Perhaps I had exceeded a little with the harshness of my words, but it was that I simply couldn’t let it pass just like that, my heart was still shattered by his betrayal, my pride trampled, and every time I saw the scar in one of my legs, I could feel that anger, that resentment for him, and that made me unable to forgive him yet.
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I went into my room, letting the memories wrap around me again. Today, seeing Sho in front of me, I had discovered with pain, that, despite everything that had happened, my feelings for him remained intact. My heart began to throb with force and I felt that my legs got weak, I thanked to the sky that it went with the crutches and they helped me to keep me standing. He smiled at me and everything around me returned to color, a warm feeling enveloped my soul, but...
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The memory of his betrayal, of all the tears shed, all the pain, the sleepless nights, all that came back with that beautiful smile.
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“Shut up! Shut up, you fucking asshole.”  I exclaimed aloud, unable to contain myself. “Just shut up. I don’t want to hear a damn word anymore. What annoys me is not the fact that you have been unfaithful to me, but... fuck, you got mad at me for something I had to do for compromise, and for revenge, for your stupid pride, you betrayed me. You betrayed my feelings, Sho...”  I put a hand on his neck, gripping him hard and raised a fist.  “You can’t imagine the urge to hit your face!”  I shouted.
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Sho shut his eyes, I knew he would let me hit him so I could release the rage I had at that moment. I just wanted to destroy him, hurt him and not see him anymore. But I wasn’t going to do that, no matter how angry I was, I couldn’t even put a finger on the person I loved the most in the world.
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“But you know something? I'm not going to waste my strength even by hitting you. Guilt hurts more...”  I whispered in a broken voice and let go of Sho carelessly, leaving the apartment with a slamming door.
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When I got to the parking lot, I got in my car and turned it on, getting out of there quickly, I wanted to get away from him, but I also wanted to go back... I wanted him to tell me that it wasn’t true, that it was just a joke, which wasn’t so. I didn’t know what it was that hurt the most, whether the fact that I was betrayed or the fact that something between us had broken.
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I took the cell phone and called Satoshi. He was the only person with whom I could vent. After ringing twice, I heard his rhythmic voice.
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“Hello?”
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"Riida..." I whispered. "I want to die.”
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“Jun? It's you?”  He asked worriedly.  “What happened?”
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“It’s Sho... that asshole cheated on me. He had sex with another woman to take revenge on me...”  I said as I drove, feeling my eyes fill with tears again, avoiding me from seeing the road properly.
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“What are you saying? Sho-kun would be incapable...”
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“He wasn’t Riida! He did it, he just confessed. I feel like disappearing, I feel like a stupid and...”  I stopped after interrupting him, letting out a sob. “I had gone to his house to ask for his forgiveness, I felt guilty for having agreed to work with Satomi-chan, and look what he did... he betrayed me...”
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“Matsujun, come to my house. In this way, we can’t speak properly.”  He answered in a low voice. I separated the cell phone from my ear to put it on the speaker, but the device slipped out of my hand, reaching down under the seat.
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“Riida, wait... my cell phone... ah, what an idiot...”  I whispered crouching to take the mobile, not noticing that a truck was coming in the opposite way.
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As soon as I took the device and sat down correctly, I tried to get out of the way, but the truck ended up hitting one side of the car, just where I was. My body struck violently against the bumper bag; I heard Ohno's voice calling me, but I was unable to speak, my back hurt terribly, and a metallic taste had invaded my mouth.
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I was bleeding.
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I shook my head to turn away those thoughts out of my mind, I hated to think about the accident, what had happened that night, as my life had changed since that day. It wasn’t the same, I had become an embittered, a person without the slightest shred of sensitivity; And the only thing I thought was to be able to recover, to be able to resume work, and therefore, to be able to resume my old life.
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A life I had decided to live without Sho.
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I knew that no matter how much I loved him, we couldn’t go back. I recognized that I couldn’t blame him for the accident, but in a way, it had to do with him, and until I couldn’t get over this, there was no room for me to return to him or to sincerely forgive him.
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*                     *                  *
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I wiped my sweat with the towel. Always after the therapy sessions, I was all drenched in sweat and so much more now that the temperature began to rise, it was late May. I left the rehabilitation center, hoping to meet my sister, but I didn’t see her car anywhere. I looked both sides and there was no sign of her.
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I mumbled a curse, I hated being at the expense of others, but unfortunately, it had to be that way because I still could not drive and because, on my condition, I was forbidden.
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“Finally, you came out, I was getting tired of waiting.”
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I narrowed my eyes when I heard that voice and looked to the right, finding Sho leaning against the car hood.
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“Were you waiting for me?” I asked in disbelief. "As far as I know, I didn’t plan to meet you or anything."
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"Megumi-san couldn’t come for you, and since the boys are busy, I courteously offered to come here and drive you home."  He replied, smiling at me.
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“Do you know what you can do with your courtesy? You can put it through your...”
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"Hey... watch your words, Matsujun.”  He interrupted me with amusement. “Come on, come on, come on. I'm going to take you home.”
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“I don’t want. Thank you.”  I said dryly.
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"Will you walk? It's very hot, you're going to get tired with those crutches.” He pointed at me with a raised eyebrow.
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“Let's see, Sho. What part of ‘I'd rather be eaten by sharks than go home with you, didn’t you understand?”  I asked, feeling angry.  “I’m going to take a taxi.”
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“With what money? You always come with no money here. Come on Jun, stop making yourself interesting and accept my help.”
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“If you think I'm going to forgive you because you're going to give me a ride to my house, you're wrong.” Sho smiled again and opened the passenger door. "Asshole."  I murmured as soon as I approached him.
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"I love you too, Jun." He laughed.
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His laughter echoed throughout the parking lot. With agility, he took my crutches, leaving them in the back seat and getting into the car seconds later; He adjusted the rear-view mirror and buckled his seat belt as my eyes followed all his movements.
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“Next stop, Matsujun's house.”  He announced with a smile that made me sigh.
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I couldn’t believe that despite the anger, I still felt excited when he smiled at me like that. But anyway, there was only about a thirty-minute drive to my apartment, so I could easily stand being alone with my ex, and nothing unusual happened.
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I was absolutely sure I could.
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By Sho.
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Jun was silent as I drove to his house.
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In order to get to him, I had to convince her sister Megumi, who apparently, is the only person who thinks that his brother and I can go back together. I knew that Jun wouldn’t even want to talk to me, but at least he agreed to let me take him back home and that was a good sign.
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“What do you think I should do to make you forgive me?”  I asked as I turned into an intersection.
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“Just die.” He answered at once.
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“All right, I got the message.”
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“Could you just drive? I don’t want to socialize with you.”
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“Jun. I still love you.”
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“Shut up, I'm not interested in hearing you.”  He sighed.
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“Every day I curse myself for what I did to you.”
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“Karma should punish you and become bald.” I laughed with his comment and he folded his arms, staring out the window.  “I don’t know what you're laughing at, I really wish you the worst.”
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“I want you to forgive me...” I said lowering the tone of my voice, stopping the car in the parking lot of the apartment complex where he lived.
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"As soon as I forget you behaved like a complete jerk, I will."  I unbuckled my seat belt and turned to look at him. “Look Sho, I don’t know why on earth you're doing this, but this is honestly disgusting, I don’t mean to forgive you, I don’t want to talk to you, in fact I just want to erase you from my life, but unfortunately I can’t because I have to work with you...”
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"Jun, I don’t care if you treat me badly, I'm totally determined to be forgiven, I don’t care if you hit me, if you mistreat me, if you tell me I'm a stupid, even if..." He looked me in the eyes. “If you break my heart with your hurting words, you cannot imagine how happy I was that night when I saw you again, and although it sounds selfish, I want to be by your side, because I know that I will be happy again when you come back to me and I know you will return to be the Jun of before when I came back to you.”
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“Fuck yourself.”  he whispered and tried to open the door, but I blocked it, putting the lock.  “You will not let me out?”
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“I want us to talk.”
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“I have nothing to talk to you, just let me out.”
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“Jun, please...” I begged.
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“Please? It's the same as I say to you… please! Stop. My life was much calmer, don’t come to stir everything, to fuck my life with your words, because, seeing you again, I start to remember everything again. You mean nothing to me, and you can tell me whatever you want, you're not going to make me change my mind...”
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But his words died in my mouth.
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I took his face down his cheeks and began to kiss him slowly, Jun tried to push me, but I continued kissing him, trying to get closer to him. His thick lips felt as soft as months ago, with that unique taste that drove me to madness. I felt my heart pounding as he responded to the kiss, leaving one of his hands on my chest as his mouth moved gently against mine. It was an innocent kiss, no depth, no tongue, just a touch between our mouths, but that was enough to make me happy. The hand that was on my chest pushed me hard, pulling away from him abruptly.
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“Get away from me.”  He whispered, looking into my eyes, trying to open the door.  “Let me out.”
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“Jun... I...” I said after obeying him and remove the lock the door.
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“Aside from being an idiot, you're also taking advantage on me. Don’t come any closer to me.” and saying this, he took the crutches from the back seat and got out of the car as fast as his legs would allow him to.
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“I don’t think I can obey you, I'm crazy about you.”  I answered raising my voice a little so he could listen to me, stopped and turned back to look at me.
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“What the hell are you saying?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. I got out of the car and walked to Jun, still looking into his eyes.
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“I’m saying that I am crazy for you, that I love you, that I’m dying without seeing you... that these six months without you have been like torture and there’s not a day in which I don’t stop missing you...” I stopped and I sighed. “I love you Jun, I know I did something terrible, but I want you to forgive me and I will do everything in my power to get it.”
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"Why don’t you just walk away and leave me alone?" Jun answered, lowering the tone of voice. “I have suffered too much for you, and I'm tired of this, I just want to recover and be the same as always. I don’t want to think any longer of what you did to me. Honestly Sho, you hurt me and I didn’t deserve it, the four years I spent by your side were unique; I surrendered to you in every way and you know more than anyone that I It's hard to open myself to others, and I did it with you, to be betrayed at the end...” He sighed loudly and looked me in the eyes again. “Just let it be, Sho.”
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“No Jun, our happiness will be complete when we get together, because you’re not happy without me and I cannot live without you.”
 “I'm sorry Sho-kun, but I've learned to live without you, I think it's best that you also learn to do it.”  He said in a whisper and looked down. “I'm really sorry, and thanks for bringing me.”
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I watched him walk away with his crutches and felt my heart shrink.
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Instead of wanting to get away, I wanted to be with him.
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He deserved to be happy, and I knew that would be as soon as he would forgive me, for even though I sounded selfish, I loved him and I wasn’t going to lose my hope; Something inside of me told me that I shouldn’t give up on Jun.
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“I swear I'll make you forgive me, even if I die in the attempt.”  I whispered as I got back into the car and climbed on it.
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Jun was everything to me, so I wasn’t going to give up.
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Cha    Chapter 4>

Tags: angst, chaptered, matsumoto jun, nc-17, romance, sakumoto, sho sakurai
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